The Rooster's Nest

Part the First
Part the Second
Part the Third
Part the Fourth


Story Or Series Title: Ruby Disappointment
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: BlackandTainted
Full Name (plus titles if any): Rubithiana Black
Full Species(es): The Extra-Sibling Sue (or in this case I suppose replacement sibling would actually be the correct term)
Hair Color (include adjectives): Hasn't been mentioned yet, but I'd imagine something like Sirius'
Eye Color (include adjectives): "Plain" Gray
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None mentioned so far
Special Possessions (if any): None so far. I'm sure it's only a matter of time
Annoying Origin: The Black Family. Allegedly.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Seems to have replaced Regulus as Sirius' younger sibling. I don't think I'd have taken that trade.
Annoying Special Abilities: Cries virtually every ten minutes.
Other Annoying Traits: Pretty much just the crying so far. There's a lot of that. A LOT.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:


( Chapter the Fifth )

Story Or Series Title: The Dark Lords Raven or so he thought
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: mercedescello

Full Name (plus titles if any): I think I've figured it out. She was raised as “Raven Mercedes Beetle,” and she goes by “Mercedes” or “Mer,” but her birth name is “Jade Potter.” The original middle name is still unknown. (It's either that, or the Suethor just decided to randomly change her name halfway through the fic. The couple that raised her just randomly starts calling her Jade when they tell her she isn't really their daughter, and she instantly switches over to thinking of herself as Jade and pretty much everyone but Draco starts calling her Jade. But she goes back to thinking of herself as “Mercedes” in the sixth chapter, so maybe the Suethor is deeply confused.)
Full Species(es): Surprise!Twin Sue.
Hair Color (include adjectives): I've word-searched all six chapters, and she describes the hair of every canon character, but not of her own OC. She keeps calling Pansy “the dark-haired girl” in the second chapter, though, and in order for that to make sense, she must be blond. Which is very wtf when you remember that her twin has black hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): No mention. Green would make sense, so I'm going to guess brown.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: The Dark Mark
Special Possessions (if any): Draco and Fred's balls. Voldy's esteem.

Annoying Origin: She was magically transported into Lily's womb from Sueland.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She's a Death Eater, then later an Order of the Phoenix member, she's Draco's best friend, she's good friends with Hermione and Ginny, she's Harry's twin sister, and Fred and Draco are in love with her.
Annoying Special Abilities: Makes everyone around her forget all about their canon concerns and worry only about her. She also has some strange ability to alter the canon progression of friendships.
Other Annoying Traits: She blames Draco for everything. Everything. She belittles him constantly, hits him whenever she feels like it, and then begins belittling him again if he complains about it. And I don't think we're supposed to see the relationship as abusive. She's also a raging hypocrite.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( Well, it's shorter than the last one. )

...do nothing, Say Nothing... BE Nothing."

"In Order To Be Irraplaceable One Must Always Be Different! ;)"

Spoken by our favorite "Worlds Youngest Novelist" God, can she be any more irritating?

The title says all.

I've been working my way through the Impish Idea archives the last few days, mentally cleansing myself before I start on my next big project, and I feel that the following articles are a Damn Fine Read for any writer.

impishidea.com/writing/404/on-issues

impishidea.com/criticism/410/on-the-antagonist-competency-clause

impishidea.com/writing/415/on-females-feminity-and-a-few-other-associated-ideas-in-the-genre

impishidea.com/criticism/447/on-versimilitude

impishidea.com/writing/402/how-to-keep-writing-when-your-world-is-falling-apart

I have to admit, I've been writing for literally as long as I can remember, and I still learned some interesting and useful things from these articles. ImpishIdea is definitely becoming a new favourite place to hang out.

(And don't get me started on the Females and Femininity Subject when it comes to the fantasy genre, because I get a bit crude.)

Story or Series Title: The Hope Within
Fandom: Lord of the Messed-Up Family Trees
Culprit Author's Name: bostongrl1661
Full Name: Raina Peredhil
Full Species: Human/Elf hybrid
Hair Color (Include Adjectives): "Black as coal"
Eye Color (Include Adjectives): "silvery-grey"
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Well, once the PPC are through with her...
Special Possessions: Legolas, it looks like.
Annoying Origin: Elrond and Celebrían
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Elrond and Celebrían's daughter; Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen's sister; Vardamir's cousin.
Annoying Special Abilities: To mess up the canon
Other Annoying Traits: hbjhjyu7gyutyt65trcgfbv cv bvcgf3

( The Summary )

( Arrival in Karningul )

( Chat with her friend )

Part the First

http://www.cracked.com/article/230_if-new-moon-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest/

If New Moon Was 10 Times Shorter and 100 Times More Honest.

I don't know if anyone else has posted about this yet. I haven't seen anything on AS about it. Anyway...


My favourite quotes:

ROBERT PATTINSON

Don't worry Kristen, I will protect you by hurling you against a wall and into a glass table!

KRISTEN STEWART

My hero!

(bleeds profusely)

TAYLOR LAUTNER

(points to abs)

GIRLS IN AUDIENCE

(swooning)

No wonder boys hate Twilight! Nobody can be as perfect as Edward!

BOYS IN AUDIENCE

Are you kidding? We love Twilight! It teaches the next generation of women that, the worse their men treat them, the more in love they should be.

GIRLS IN AUDIENCE

You're right! Want to buy me another movie ticket?

BOYS IN AUDIENCE

Buy your own goddamn ticket you stupid cunt.

WOMEN IN AUDIENCE

(swoon)

END

Made a motivational poster for ya'all.
For some unknown reason, I find this utterly hilarious.

Since the original entry is being screened for what could be the opposite opinion, here's a thread where Freedom of Speech is respected. Original entry:



clibanarius
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | I have no idea ]
Seriously, what is the point? You guys could bash and denigrate Paolini (The purpose was to critisize the books in the first place) for all eternity and it wouldn't change a thing.

Paolini's probably counting his fortune and thinking: "I'll bet that on some Live Journal Community, they hate me, guess what? I don't care."

. . . Assuming of course he even knows this community exists.

--

well, paolini would be greatly ignorant and/or sheltered indeed if he never noticed us (something which I doubt). While many of our recent posts have been a personal jab (or ones that stabbed his non-existent proffesionalism), I can safely state that the reason for this is simple: Paolini writes with the amazing speed of a paralized worm, and if we can't dump coal to this community's furnace, we'd have to dump scraps.
There are still more serious posts here, some critisizing characterization or in-story logic and consistency, it's just that we don't have enough material (books, interviews) to justify more critical posts.

But hey, if you feel that this is all useless because paolini doesn't read it (which would be funny), there are a lot of other people reading this, and they're learning a lot. I know I did.

Seriously, what is the point? You guys could bash and denigrate Paolini (The purpose was to critisize the books in the first place) for all eternity and it wouldn't change a thing.

Paolini's probably counting his fortune and thinking: "I'll bet that on some Live Journal Community, they hate me, guess what? I don't care."

. . . Assuming of course he even knows this community exists.

Part the First
Part the Second


Story Or Series Title: Ruby Disappointment
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: BlackandTainted

Full Name (plus titles if any): Rubithiana Black
Full Species(es): The Extra-Sibling Sue (or in this case I suppose replacement sibling would actually be the correct term)
Hair Color (include adjectives): Hasn't been mentioned yet, but I'd imagine something like Sirius'
Eye Color (include adjectives): "Plain" Gray
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None mentioned so far
Special Possessions (if any): None so far. I'm sure it's only a matter of time

Annoying Origin: The Black Family. Allegedly.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Seems to have replaced Regulus as Sirius' younger sibling. I don't think I'd have taken that trade.
Annoying Special Abilities: Cries virtually every ten minutes.
Other Annoying Traits: Pretty much just the crying so far. There's a lot of that. A LOT.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:





( Chapter the Third )

Story Or Series Title: The Dark Lords Raven or so he thought
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: mercedescello

Full Name (plus titles if any): Well, Draco calls her “Raven Mercedes” but the summary lists her as “Mercedes Raven.” Her birth surname is Potter, and as much as I'd like to believe that Voldemort is smart enough to at least change a child's name if he were going to kidnap her, he apparently didn't bother. This does not account for why Lily and James thought that “Raven Mercedes” and “Harry James” would go nicely as twin names.
Full Species(es): I'm pretty sure it's human.
Hair Color (include adjectives): I've word-searched all six chapters, and she describes the hair of every canon character, but not of her own OC. She keeps calling Pansy “the dark-haired girl” in the second chapter, though, and in order for that to make sense, she must be blond. Which is very wtf when you remember that her twin has black hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): No mention. Green would make sense, so I'm going to guess brown.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: The Dark Mark
Special Possessions (if any): Draco and Fred's balls. Voldy's esteem.

Annoying Origin: The Pit
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She's a Death Eater, she's Draco's best friend, she's good friends with Hermione and Ginny, she's Harry's twin sister, and Fred (and Draco) are in love with her.
Annoying Special Abilities: Makes everyone around her forget all about their canon conserns and worry only about her.
Other Annoying Traits: She blames Draco for everything. Everything. She belittles him constantly, hits him whenever she feels like it, and then begins belittling him again if he complains about it. And I don't think we're supposed to see the relationship as abusive.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

( It isn't all that small. Sorry. )

I stumbled upon this on a D.Gray-Man LJ:

Twilight, dubbed in Japanese.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XopZWkkZNnQ

I hate you Twilight. I really do. And of all the seiyuu, why did they choose Takahiro Sakurai? And for those who don't know, he did Cloud in FFVII, Kanda Yuu in DGM, Suzuku in Code Geass, Kira in Bleach...uh, Jenos in Black Cat, and a number of other animes/games that. He's one of the few actors/VA I actually like...

However, this is probably the only way I'll ever stand Twilight. It honestly sounds better in Japanese. To paraphrase the poster on DGM, Pattison (and I don't care if I'm spelling this wrong) does not deserve to be voiced by Sakurai. Not the least bit.


Edit: Locked to "Members" by accident.

So I was watching the "10th Kingdom" miniseries from about a decade ago, and I noticed many similarities between the character "Wolf" and Edward. The miniseries is meant to be a comedy, but Wolf's lines are often almost exactly the same as Edward's. Hence, I put this video together for your enjoyment.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11

Story or Series Title: Conversations of a Dark Lord
Fandom: The Boy Who Must Wish That Riddle Were Such A Moron
CulpritAuthor's Name: Taeya.stu
Full Name: Tom Marvolo Riddle
Full Species: Regulafractus fatuus
Hair Color(Include Adjectives): N/A
Eye Color(Include Adjectives): Red
Unusual Markings/Colorations: The cumulative disfigurements of six Horcruxes
Special Possessions: Contacts
Annoying Origin: Tom and Merope Riddle
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Has one in Mad-Eye's trunk
Annoying Special Abilities: To reduce his victims' fear until too late
Other Annoying Traits: gghhjyu77hjyunhjum, nmjbn

( It isss Valentine'sss day, not 'Voldemort'sss Day' )

( Brain goesss all sssplodey-like )

I've been listening to the books-on-CD version of Twilight and I haven't got much to say on the book itself (other than it was really gross when Mike and Tyler asked her out within minutes of each other...ewwie.)
I was more preoccupied with the narrator.
He voice was sorta raspy right at the edges and she sounded TERRIBLY fake when she did Edward's voice. And I discovered that the book does not read well- there's nothing interesting going on. So I fell asleep during the whole "omg Eddie saved Bella from a car crash scene."
Also, the lady goes "he was perfect, he was beautiful" and it's aggravating. D:< Shit like that is just so lame to be reading out loud.
Other than that, no real thoughts yet. Perhaps I'll update on it. (:

Part the First

Story Or Series Title: Ruby Disappointment
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: BlackandTainted

Full Name (plus titles if any): Rubithiana Black
Full Species(es): The Extra-Sibling Sue (or in this case I suppose replacement sibling would actually be the correct term)
Hair Color (include adjectives): Hasn't been mentioned yet, but I'd imagine something like Sirius'
Eye Color (include adjectives): "Plain" Gray
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None mentioned so far
Special Possessions (if any): None so far. I'm sure it's only a matter of time

Annoying Origin: The Black Family. Allegedly.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Seems to have replaced Regulus as Sirius' younger sibling. I don't think I'd have taken that trade.
Annoying Special Abilities: Cries virtually every ten minutes.
Other Annoying Traits: Pretty much just the crying so far. There's a lot of that. A LOT.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:


( Chapter the Second )

Today on Facebook, I was presented with an add for this site...

http://www.bookbyyou.com/vampire/default.asp?id=Face-VK

You get to customize and star in your very own vampire novel!!

EDIT:

Here is my customized preview... I might ask for this as a Christmas present! My story takes place in Ireland. Or Scotland. Or any other place where people often have "Mc" in front of their names...

A college campus is the setting for Vampire Kisses and where Sassafrass McGee and Adonis McHunkypants first cross paths. It’s love at first sight, but as they become closer, Sassafrass discovers that Adonis has a horrifying secret – he’s a vampire doomed to a bloodthirsty immortality!
Although Sassafrass senses danger beneath his soft-spoken manner, and even after Adonis himself warns her away, Sassafrass is drawn to this creature of the night and loves him as she has loved no other.

( the story continues... )

Out of curiosity, I decided to look up how often some words appear in Inheritance and Twilight. I couldn't think of many annoying repeats in Inheritance, so if you've got suggestions of things for me too look up, I'll add them.

Inheritance:
Meat
-Eragon: 42
-Eldest: 40
-Brisingr: 32
Total: 112
Mmm, meat.

Throb
-Eragon: 14
-Eldest: 15
-Brisingr: 23
Total: 53

Said
-Eragon: 854
-Eldest: 880
-Brisingr: 1193
Total: 2927
Surprising!

It's really fun to note how Breaking Dawn numbers tend to throw off the averages, particularly on adjectives.

Twilight:
Chagrin
-Twilight: 4
-New Moon: 2
-Eclipse: 4
-Breaking Dawn: 5
Total: 15
I was actually rather surprised at the low count. I guess it's just the fact that she almost never uses it correctly that gets under people's skins.

Topaz/Gold (describing eyes)
-Twilight: 3/31
-New Moon: 2/12
-Eclipse: 2/13
-Breaking Dawn: 3/15
Totals: 10/71

Perfect /Perfection/Perfectly
-Twilight: 55
-New Moon: 51
-Eclipse: 59
-Breaking Dawn: 117- apparently everyone is perfect in Breaking Dawn.
Total: 282

Beautiful
-Twilight: 28
-New Moon: 45
-Eclipse: 31
-Breaking Dawn: 62
Total: 166

Velvet
-Twilight: 5
-New Moon: 13
-Eclipse: 9
-Breaking Dawn: 7
Total: 34

Few people laugh in SMeyer's books; they chuckle instead. Probably with chagrin. There's a LOT of murmuring in here, too, much more than I expected.

Growl
-Twilight: 15. And only one is an animal.
-New Moon: 26
-Eclipse: 45
-Breaking Dawn: 71
Total: 157

Chuckle
-Twilight: 39
-New Moon: 29
-Eclipse: 39
-Breaking Dawn: 43
Total: 150

Murmur
-Twilight: 46
-New Moon: 30
-Eclipse: 95
-Breaking Dawn: 111 -Can no one just talk anymore?
Total: 282

Said
-Twilight: 387
-New Moon: 440
-Eclipse: 590
-Breaking Dawn: 650
Total: 2067

User Suggested:

Marble (kyllorac)
-Twilight: 9
-New Moon: 9
-Eclipse: 6
-Breaking Dawn: 6
Total: 30
Twice as many 'marbles' as 'chagrins'.

Statue (derrick_mace)
-Twilight: 7
-New Moon: 4
-Eclipse: 5
-Breaking Dawn: 6
Total: 22